|
By
Catherine M. Pruissen
Bullying
has been around forever. We've all gone through
it as kids, the humiliation, the intimidation, the
feeling of helplessness. But the form of bullying
we knew is not the bullying that goes on today.
It has become increasingly violent and can cause serious
harm.
Bullying
is a form of physical and psychological power, creating
anxiety, humiliation and chronic fear in its victims.
It is a power and control issue, and is found in schools,
recreational facilities, just about anywhere children
gather. Bullying is done usually in secret,
and remains hard to detect unless you are aware of
its symptoms.
Types
of Bullying
Open
and Direct: Physical
Pushing,
pinching, punching, fighting, choking, cornering,
forcing, intimidation, screaming, staring, kicking.
Indirect:
Emotional, Social, Verbal
Isolating,
put-downs, joking, sarcasm, teasing, ridicule, insults,
ignoring, labeling, witnessing without speaking.
Some
Indirect Secretive Aggressive Acts of Bullying
Gang
initiation, family abuse, group membership, graffiti,
hate crimes, e-mail threats, stalking, gossip, animal
abuse, lying, social isolation from peers.
Bullies
Need Help To:
Become
aware of the consequences of their behaviour, increase
understanding to how they affect others around them,
learn new life skills dealing with anger and other
emotions.
How
To Help a Bully:
Always
model good behaviour, reinforce acts of kindness to
those you encounter at school. Children need
to be taught that it is okay to tell a teacher or
someone they trust if someone's behaviour makes them
feel uncomfortable. They must understand that
the code of silence MUST be broken in order for the
same effect to go away. Seeking intervention
early can prevent long term self-esteem damage to
its victims, and gives an opportunity for the Bully
to face responsibility and get support.
How
To Help the Victim of Bullying:
Children
need to learn to develop their own voice, to stand
up for themselves without violence, to relieve isolation,
shame and guilt, to develop self-assertive skills
and strategies, and to overcame the fear of seeking
intervention. Children need to be LISTENED to
and given CREDIBILITY to their experiences.
We can no longer turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to
any form of bullying no matter what the age of the
child.
- NO
ONE DESERVES TO BE BULLIED.
- NO
ONE SHOULD FEEL THAT THEY DID SOMETHING, OR IS NOT
IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO SEEK SUPPORT WHEN THEY ARE HURTING.
- CHILDREN
NEED US TO LISTEN TO AND GIVE SUPPORT TO THEIR FEARS
OF BULLYING.
For
more information on how to teach self-assertive behaviour
to your children visit your local library.
From:
Bullying... A Phamplet distributed by the
Assumption College High School in Windsor, Ontario.
|
